I Know My Real Name is Steven

by leekeeler on October 18, 2010

I have a terrible secret. My name is Mark…or so I thought.
You see I was abducted. I was walking to Space Camp when a
van pulled up, a man inside told me that my parents had been
eaten by a tiger & I should come with him right away. I
shouldn’t have believed him but I was just 16 & I didn’t know
any better. Looking back on it now I feel so stupid, how
could my parents have been eaten by a tiger, my parents
worked in the circus but they never worked with tigers. But
it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s my parents fault,
or the people I thought were my parents. You see the man in
the van took me to his home and pretended that I was theirs.
He and his wife had had a 16 year old son but he got really
into soccer & they didn’t like him anymore. So they took me.
They took me. He told me “Your new name is Mark” & that’s
who I became. But I know my real name is Steven.

Or so I thought, you see I was abducted. I was at the circus
with my parents. I’d always loved the circus and I’d just
been bat mitzvtah’d so I was flush with cash. A man in a
circus van asked me if I wanted to wash a tiger. Next thing
I knew I was traveling the world, you see the man in the van
had lost his son in a trapeze accident and I guess I looked
just like him. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. They
told me your new name is The Amazing Steven Wallenda but I
know my real name is Rachael.

Or so I thought. You see I was abducted. My brothers and I
were visiting this country from China and we were at a
department store, when my brother’s back was turned a man
grabbed me and stuffed me in a backpack and I never saw my
family again. They told me “Your name is Rachael Goldstien.”
I know my real name is Ming Waa.

Or so I thought, you see I was abducted. You always hear
stories of babies lost in the woods being raised by wolves.
But you never hear about a wolf being raised by a bunch of
Chinese circus babies. But that is what happened to me. My
name is MARK, but I know my real name is HOWL!

-Mark Swaner

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